Check it out!

Ya got a blonde person!

A nerd person!

An old person!

And an African-American person!

It’s everything you need to have a demographically and culturally safe hoo-ha in the privacy of your own kitchen… to celebrate your freedom from Windows Vista!

My favorite part is how they tell you to install the software a couple days before the party, just in case, you know, your entire system crashes because it’s buggier than Courtney Love’s mouth.

Apple throws raves.

Windows throws Early Bird specials.

FAIL!

So, it’s not enough.

I had a bar conversation yesterday, with a guy who told me he knew I’d go off and get the new Iphone.  I disagreed.

Yes, I love tech.  Yes, I like the shiny and the new.  But this is principle, really.

I love my email.  I love getting my email WHEN IT COMES IN.  Now, I can do that, if I sit and press the sync button on the iphone every minute, like some sort of “Monk” like obsessive compulsive… but when I’m at work, it’s actually sort of mission critical.  

Most TV productions run on blackberries… and I can’t sit around and wait the fifteen minutes  Apple thinks is okay for me to get my email.

That’s a battery suck.  So there’s two options… figure out how to do push email without it being a battery suck, or give me a removable battery.  I will take either.   I accept my responsibility that I will live my life as a battery hog, but you’ve got to give me the option to go an entire day in the universe without scrounging around for an outlet like a crack addict.  

I can put up with the hunt and peck keyboard.  And the constant correction of  f***ing to “ducking.”  I like the phone, it’s a fun phone.

But, no Apple.  I will not be giving you $700 to upgrade my phone and get a substandard camera which I won’t use, and a compass I don’t need.

You can do better.  And you will.

But this time, I’m gonna wait it out.

Oh, and look!  This time, I didn’t complain about the government!