Marmel.com

Holier Than Thou.  Electable-ier than… well, he’s really just flat out un-electable. 

COLUMBUS, Ohio — White House candidate Rick Santorum on Saturday questioned President Barack Obama’s Christian values and attacked GOP rival Mitt Romney’s Olympics leadership as he courted tea party activists and evangelical voters in Ohio, “ground zero” in the 2012 nomination fight.

Santorum, a former Pennsylvania senator known for his social conservative policies, said that Obama’s agenda is “not about you. It’s not about your quality of life. It’s not about your jobs. It’s about some phony ideal. Some phony theology. Not a theology based on the Bible. A different theology.”

Got that kids?  It’s some phony ideal.  A phony theology.  Not based on the bible.  

Let’s not even get into the whole “Church and State” thing, because Rick wants to be to America what the Ayotollah is in Iran.  

But are you listening other, saner, different Christians?  You can only be Christian if you’re Rick Santorum’s idea of a Christian.  And the rest of you should start making plans for your general admission seats in Hell.

That’s you, Lutherans.  Protestants.  Jews.  Mormons.  

In fact, that’s about 77% of America that aren’t “Catholic.”  

And as for you silly women with your silly body parts and your silly desire for contraception that’s not closing your slutty knees together using an aspirin, like they did back in the day you can pick out your hell chair as well.

So who could Santorum be speaking to that wouldn’t feel isolated? Catholic Men - a full 11.5% of the population.  Narrow bandwidth, sweater-vest.

This man will NEVER be president.  

This man will probably end up running a Chic-Fil-A and running it very poorly.  

The longer this moron stays in the race - the more the GOP talks about things like lady parts - the better it is for Obama.  So I’l all for it.  Keep bloodying each other.  Love it.

Still, today?   Santorum.  you can piss right off, you self-righteous strip of turd.  

______

11:29 update

Well, give a turd a chance and he’s still going to be a turd.  Here comes the spin.

A more congenial Rick Santorum doubled down on several controversial, and religiously laden, remarks in an interview Sunday morning on CBS’s “Face the Nation,” where he defended his recent claims that prenatal testing results in abortions, that federally provided education was “anachronistic,” and that President Obama’s policies are not “based on the Bible.”

“I’ve repeatedly said I don’t question the president’s faith,” Santorum told host Bob Schieffer, denying what some have said was a signal that Santorum had challenged the legitimacy of Obama’s Christianity. “I’ve repeatedly said that I believe the president’s Christian — he says he’s Christian. But I am talking about his worldview, the way he addresses problems in this country, and they’re different than most people view it in America.”

In a speech to Tea Party conservatives on Saturday in Columbus, Ohio, Santorum had dismissed Obama’s politics as being based in “some phony theology.”

An incredulous Bob Schieffer began his interview with Santorum Sunday by asking, “What in the world were you thinking?”

“I was talking about the radical environmentalists,” Santorum said, suggesting that they believe man should protect the earth, rather than “steward its resources.” “I think that is a phony ideal. I don’t believe that’s what we’re here to do … We’re not here to serve the earth. That is not the objective, man is the objective.”

Oh, shut the hell up you ridiculous throwback.  No you weren’t.  You were at a party with a bunch of similar minds and you pandered to the lowest common denominator.  Then you got called on it and you’re backpedalling.

“I was talking about radical environmentalists.”  Really?  Where in the above comments should we have figured that out?  Because you’re telling us now?  What a weird little liar you are.

Earlier in the day on Saturday, Santorum had also said that health insurance plans shouldn’t be required to cover prenatal testing, because that testing results in more abortions, as well as contending that government-run public education was “anachronistic.”

Sure!  And if a woman dies because of a complication, that’s okay, right?  Again, remember this when you vote, women:  To Rick Santorum, you are nothing but a tunnel to make more male babies.  Now get back in the kitchen.

Ass.

This is not going to help him with “Electability.”

Or “Sane.”

Or even “human.”

Wow. Just… Wow.

Emphasis on “Tries.”  I’d tell him not to quit his day job, but it’s not like the guy has ever had to really work.  Maybe his Dad should have sung it for him?

What we’ve learned: Apparently they have not installed the singing chip in the MittBot 2012.  Yes, they got rid of all the moderate programming, and they’ve dialed the aggression up… 

…but we’re still missing talent, and we’re still missing electability.

Love that Obama sung and everybody went “Awwwww”

And Mitt sang and everybody went “Ewwwww”

Seriously. Ew.

- Steve

P.S.  Sorry about the Conoco ad in front of it.  It is also not worth the wait.  :)

Shocking, because I thought it was his $parkling personality and connection to the common man.

Seriously, this is news like Katherline Heigl’s new movie getting a 3% critic approval on Rotten Tomatoes… a big fat duh.

May the richest lunatic win.

WASHINGTON — Fresh off a triumphant victory in the South Carolina primary, former Speaker Newt Gingrich came to Florida with the wind at his back. What he may not have known was that he would be riding those winds into a wall of money. A newly feisty Mitt Romney, fighting for his political life, and his loyal super PAC unloaded on Gingrich in the Sunshine State with a massive spending binge that included wall-to-wall attack ads in a repeat of the assault that knocked Gingrich from the top of the polls in the run-up to the Iowa caucus.

The biggest spender in Florida — the most expensive state in the Republican primary to date — has been the pro-Romney super PAC Restore Our Future. Run by a trio of former Romney advisers, the group has spent $10.7 million in the state. The vast majority of that — $9.9 million — has gone into a barrage of ads, on television and radio, and direct mail attacking Gingrich. That’s more than double what pro-Gingrich super PAC Winning Our Future is spending in Florida.

This is the opposite of what happened in South Carolina, where Winning Our Future was able to match the spending of Restore Our Future and provide Gingrich with room to win.

Dig this quote from the lunatic in the sweater vest who walks like a man.

I was so outraged by the president of the United States for standing up and saying every child in America should go to college. Well who are you? Who are you to say that every child in America should [go to college]? I mean, the hubris of this president to think that he knows what’s best. 

 I have seven kids. Maybe they will all go to college. But if one of my kids wants to go and be an auto-mechanic, good for him. That’s a good paying job: using your hands, using your mind. This is the kind of snobbery that we see from those who think they know how to run our lives. Rise up America, defend your own freedoms. And overthrow these folks who think they know how to orchestrate every aspect of your lives.

Outraged?  Really? 

Then you’re probably the same ignorant hillbilly who wants to know “Who does Michelle Obama think she is” asking our kids to be healthy.

 Yes, how dare the President want every child to be educated as best they can and to have every opportunity that can be afforded them?  What a d*ck!

“Hubris.” “Snobbery.”  What’s the matter, can’t say “Uppity?”  Afraid it might come out “Blah?” 

“Rise Up, America!”  - Did you find that in KKK literature?

Nobody’s telling your child he or she can’t be an auto-mechanic.  But if that auto-mechanic could have been a doctor, or a physicist, or found a cure for something… and never got the opportunity, that’s a bad thing.  

(Unless that person is a woman, I guess, in which case, Santorum would expect her to stay at home and raise a litter.)

This man is poison.

This man is insane.

This man shouldn’t be allowed near anything with a big red button - be it the nuclear codes or the one at Staples that says “Easy.”

“Who are you to say every child in America should go to college?” Yes, America.  ’Eff you and whatever dreams and opportunity you might have.

Rick Santorum might need his car fixed.

Hey, New Hampshire.  South Carolina.  Put this idiot out of our misery, will you?

I don’t have much to add to the discussion except forwarding both of these things, but it’s pretty interesting stuff none-the-less. 

Super props to David Feldman for connecting dots.

WASHINGTON — Former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee said he could “almost guarantee” that therecent Politico story about sexual harassment allegations against Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain came from information leaked by another GOP campaign.

The Politico report revealed that while Cain was head of the National Restaurant Association in the 1990s, “at least two female employees complained to colleagues and senior association officials about inappropriate behavior by Cain, ultimately leaving their jobs at the trade group.”

When asked on Laura Ingraham’s radio show Monday morning if it was likely the scoop was provided by another Republican campaign, Huckabee agreed with the suspicion and questioned the legitimacy of the Politico report, saying, “Quite frankly, knowing some of the reporters involved — they’re not that good.”

Huckabee recalled similar tactics involved in his own 2008 presidential campaign and accused other campaigns of hiring investigators to dig through his trash and show up at his children’s elementary schools posing as federal inspectors.

“It’s insane — one of the fundamental things a candidate will spend money on is [opposition] research,” Huckabee told Ingraham.

The Cain campaign has since accused Politico of “dredging up thinly sourced allegations” and called some of the claims “unsubstantiated personal attacks.”

Former Bush adviser Karl Rove told Fox News that Cain needs to either say “yes or no” to the allegations.

My friend David Feldman dissects it as follows:

David Feldman

Politico broke the Herman Cain sexual harassment story. Which means the story was leaked from within the GOP. It did not come from the DNC. Here’s why: Politico is owned by Robert Allbritton. Allbritton has extensive ties to the CIA and was Pinochet’s banker as well as the Saudi’s. Allbritton’s bank was pretty much shut down, and he had to pay multi million dollar fines in 2004 for money laundering. Politico, like Fox News, has the veneer of objectivity but it is in fact an arm of the right wing propaganda machine. Cain’s sexual harassment story came from within the wing of the GOP that wants Romney.

So… While still supporting Obama, guess who I’m cheering for now?

I’ve been thinking a lot about Herman Cain.  I used to be worried about him.  Guess what?  Now, as someone who is 99% sure he’s voting for Obama based on the current pack of lunatics running on the right, I am absolutely pulling for him.  

But first, a little history:

Actress and activist Janeane Garofalo threw down the liberal gauntlet while blasting Tea Party motives on MSNBC in 2009

“It’s about hating a black man in the White House. That is racism straight up. This is nothing but a bunch of teabagging rednecks,” she said.

A YouTube video titled “Tea Party Racism” shows signs seen at past Tea Party events. They include:

• Obama as a witch doctor 
• A monkey face next to the words, “Obamanomics: Monkey See, Monkey Spend”
• Obama’s Plan: White Slavery
• The Zoo has an African Lion
• The White House has a Lyin’ African

Former President Jimmy Carter claimed to NBC “Nightly News” that “an overwhelming portion” of the animosity aimed at President Obama is because Obama’s black. 

However, author Ron Miller doesn’t buy it. He’s written the book “Sellout,” which is a label often tossed at him because he’s a black Republican who speaks at Tea Party events.

He points out that two of the Tea Partiers favorite politicians are a black congressman and a black presidential candidate.

“If the Tea Party movement, fragmented as it is, had an opportunity to select the one man that they’d want as president of the United States right now, it would be Allen West and followed closely by Herman Cain,” he said.

“I simply say two things. First of all, the accusation of racism within the Tea Party movement is ridiculous. Why? Number two — the black guy keeps winning the straw polls. So how could they be racists?” Cain asked.

“Would a racist organization take that much interest and be that passionate about two men who are obviously black?” Miller asked.

Fox News commentator Juan Williams can often be a little suspicious about the Tea Party embrace of West and Cain.

“Maybe sensing that they are very vulnerable on this racial issue, they’re taking to people like West or like Herman Cain because they’re seeking to defend themselves against those charges,” he said.

But Williams said he wished people wouldn’t always be dragging out the race card.

“And I just find it abhorrent to American ideals that you would try to defeat your opponent with some blanket charge of racism or bigotry when in fact there’s something else on the table, and it’s a very legitimate difference of opinion,” he said.

“It’s not about race. It’s about policies, it’s about issues,” Miller told CBN News.

This was back in September when it was written, long before Cain was elevated to the status of front runner, whatever that means in the pack of dimwits, zealots and snoozers the GOP is running.  Man, they thought it would be easy, didn’t they?

And I’m okay with that.  Because here’s who runs against Obama if Cain gets the nomination:

Herman Cain is heartlessly out of touch with main stream America: (statement about Occupy Wallstreet)

“Don’t blame Wall Street, don’t blame the big banks, if you don’t have a job and you’re not rich, blame yourself. It is not someone’s fault if they succeeded, it is someone’s fault if they failed,” the ex-Godfather’s Pizza CEO declared.

Hermain Cain is a typical right-leaning islamophobe:

He had to apologize to Muslim leaders for vitriolic remarks in which he said communities have a right to ban mosques because Muslims are trying to inject sharia law into the U.S. and that he would not want a Muslim bent on killing Americans in his administration.

And yet for all for his issues with Islam being used to make law in America, he’s willing to his faith to make law here:  

“I believe that life begins at conception, period. And that means that I will have to see enough evidence that someone I would appoint shares that same view. “ 

And, of course, Hermain Cain is a mouth piece for the uber-rich:

IOWA CITY, Iowa — Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain has cast himself as the outsider, the pizza magnate with real-world experience who will bring fresh ideas to the nation’s capital. But Cain’s economic ideas, support and organization have close ties to two billionaire brothers who bankroll right-leaning causes through their group Americans for Prosperity.

 Cain’s campaign manager and a number of aides have worked for Americans for Prosperity, or AFP, the advocacy group founded with support from billionaire brothers Charles and David Koch, which lobbies for lower taxes and less government regulation and spending. Cain credits a businessman who served on an AFP advisory board with helping devise his “9-9-9” plan to rewrite the nation’s tax code. And his years of speaking at AFP events have given the businessman and radio host a network of loyal grassroots fans.

So how does this guy rise to the top of the polls?  Why is everybody talking about him?

Because, as Juan Williams suspects, Hermain Cain is a human shield for the Tea Party.  The perfect defense against what Janeane Garofalo (and many others, including myself) have stated a long time ago:  There’s a sick little undercurrent of racism going on in the tea party, and something had to be done to deflect.

To me, this is what it’s about:  Being able to keep the hard-right agenda going, but neutering the race card.  How many days did Rick Perry’s “N*****head” story get?  A day and a half?  The Texas Governor’s family getaway uses the N-word and this carries the news cycle less than 48 hours?   C’mon, If Obama went to the Cracker Barrel for a soda, we’d hear about how he was calling white people “Crackers” through November.

What better way for the tea party to go “See?  We’re not bigots!” than elevating Herman? It’s beautiful, beautiful strategy.  And I hope it backfires.

I have grown to love Hermain Cain as the Republican Candidate for the United States of America.  Do you hear me?  I love him having to go toe-to-toe with Obama.

Because the election becomes race neutral.  Obama’s skin color suddenly is no longer in the “plus” column for that bigoted chunk of Americans who don’t like a president who doesn’t look like their money — even if they don’t HAVE any money.

And if Cain wins the nomination, pow:  Their party ALSO has a candidate with the same skin color.  Now it’s about ideas.  And who best represents the majority of Americans.

So for now, I’m pulling for him.  Taking race out of this election is a PR move for the Tea Party.  But it’s one of the best things that could happen to Obama.  It makes this election about policies,  the direction of the country, and who has the best interest for the majority of Americans. 

So go, Herman.  Go.

But honestly, by the time the GOP candidate is chosen, I think we all know he’ll be gone, Herman, gone.

This is like Rick Perry getting an ad that reads “Do you like white people?  Visit our page!”

Really?

I’d say “We hadn’t noticed” but then I saw the polls.  Apparently we have!

You were a candle that nobody really wanted, that burned out much faster than we every could have dreamed.